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Ten Zombie Books To Turn Your Stomach by Karin Perry

Originally posted on Nerdy Book Club:

Sometimes our mood determines what we want to read. Every once in a while you might need a good cry, so you’ll pick up something like The Fault in Our Stars by John Green.  Sometimes you really need to laugh, so you choose Beauty Queens by Libba Bray. AND, for those times you really want to be creeped out, zombies are a great choice.

Believe it or not, not all zombie books are scary, so, unfortunately you can’t just pick up any zombie book you find and expect to be scared out of your mind.  For your convenience, I’ve pulled together ten zombie books that will scare the pants off of you (or totally gross you out).

The Infects by Sean Beaudoin

Nero, a bad boy, is stuck on a wilderness hike with several other juvenile delinquents. “Inward Trek” is meant to teach the boys survival and responsibility with the…

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The Beggar’s Bowl – New Cover #iartg #buyindie

I will be revealing the new cover for The Beggar’s Bowl on May 21. This short of mine has been free for a few years now and I know it hasn’t gotten as many downloads as 30 Minute Plan because the cover is just awful. I’d made it myself. But now it has an honest-to-goodness nice cover and I will be revealing it next month in anticipation of the release of Axe to the Face. TBB will also include an exclusive excerpt of the novella.

Don’t forget to download a copy of Where the Monsters Are or join the giveaway over at Brutal Books!

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Non-Review Reviews #amazon #iartg #amreading

Download a copy of 30 Minute Plan and judge for yourself!

“Very disappointed. I was bored out of my mind by the Authors rambling even before I got to the story. Once I finally started reading I quickly stopped. It wasn’t what I had expected at all. It might be to someone else’s liking but I am not a fan of this author so far.”

Not that I should be immune to one-star reviews, but there’s absolutely nothing to this review to help anyone decide whether to or not to download this title. You were bored out of your mind by my rambling even before you got to the story. Do you mean the foreword? Why not just skip over it and go straight to the story? And why did you quickly stop once you got to the story? If it’s poor writing, a tired story, or whatever else, say that. I suspect this is someone else’s account and they’re posting anonymously.

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The Weaving Dead #horrorsnippets

Okay, so I started this on a whim and I’m not exactly sure where this is going. Should I finish?

Check out more Horror Snippets here. And download a copy of my $0.99 zombie tale, The Butterman Cometh (The Zombie Archives).

Officer Teabody climbed his large frame out of his cruiser and casually closed the door. He jabbed both thumbs into his belt, oncing over the big black Buick he’d pulled over. The old car hadn’t been going fast and that was the problem. Had whoever this was simply driven ten miles above the speed limit like everyone else Teabody wouldn’t have noticed him at all.

He’d tried not seeing the car as he’d been thumbing around on his game of Sudoku on his iPhone, but the Buick had crawled across his peripheral vision, several passing cars honking, and thus demanding his attention. Teabody liked Sudoku a lot and he did not like pulling people over, but if he wanted to continue playing while being gainfully employed, he had to occasionally make a traffic stop or two.

And someone making such blatantly poor use of all three southbound lanes on Rochester right in front of him meant that big black Buick had to be one of them.

Teabody took a deep breath and unclipped his Glock. He slid it out and let it hang by his side. He wouldn’t need to use it, these sorts of stops rarely, if ever, had some psychopath behind the wheel. The psychos tended not to stop and wound up starting a high-speed chase and killing some poor unsuspecting motorist. No, the ones who stopped usually were the bluffers; people who were drunk or stoned who thought a breath mint could hide what was on their breath or an air freshener would mask the smell of marijuana.

But he followed the procedure on the off chance this would be the one-out-of-a-thousandth customer who would do something truly stupid like try to shoot him as he came up to the car. Officer Teabody sauntered over, his eyes examining the rear window for passengers in the backseat. All he could make out was darkness. He came up to the bumper of the big black Buick and stared into the side rearview mirror, hoping to get a look at the driver. But it had been turned crazily and the only thing he saw in the mirror was a view of Rochester road, completely useless to him and the driver prior to being pulled over.

His mouth disapproved, forming itself into a grim line. Teabody knew his mouth. He listened to it. It was telling him this one might be a winner. Maybe not a one-in-a-thousandth, but the guy right before him–someone who might demand a gun to be pointed in his face before he complied.

Teabody’s ears perked as he tried to listen for something above the throaty growl of the big black Buick’s old engine. It sounded like there was a geriatric lion under the hood. The car had definitely put its better days in its rear view, but it still could probably get up in speed. The brake lights were off, so the car was in park. If the driver put it in gear, it would take several seconds before he could pull out onto the street. Officer Teabody would be back in his car before he hit twenty miles an hour and would be hawking him before he reached the next stop light. He amended his estimation after he peeked over at the far side of the car and saw the tire was in mud. The big black Buick was rear-wheel drive and would do a significant amount of peeling before finding traction. He could probably make it back into his cruiser and pit the car before it got off the shoulder.

But the driver showed no sign of making a run for it. Matter of fact, he didn’t show any sign of anything. As he sidled up alongside the big black Buick, he hunched his shoulders, letting anything unexpected filter in through his senses. He didn’t hear or see anything out of the ordinary, didn’t even taste anything strange, but his twitching mouth told him there was more here than initially expected.

Finally, Teabody was just shy of the driver’s side door. The Buick was two-door so he was a little farther back than he wanted. The windows weren’t tinted, but it just looked so dark inside. He gradually made out the shoulders and head of the driver who appeared to be just sitting there, waiting. The window was rolled up, which agitated Teabody even further. Typically, people had the window down and were waiting for him, license, registration, and an unsure smile in hand.

This driver appeared to be sitting straight, eyes forward.

It made the corners of Teabody’s mouth nervous. Made him think about just raising his gun and firing until it fell on empty, reload, and begin firing again. Now there was an odd thought. He’d never fired on anyone before and this certainly hadn’t evolved into a situation that deserved it. He had to maintain control of himself.

He didn’t want to release the Glock from his thumbs-forward grip, but realized knocking on the window with the barrel of his gun might come off as a threat. He let go of the gun with one hand and wrapped on the glass.

The driver didn’t move.

 

 

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A Gigantic Ripoff #scam #alert

I just spotted this one on Craig’s List. It seemed all right, right up until the point where they said they charge money.  Read on:

 Authors Needed (Houston)

compensation: yes
We are a small book publishing firm in Texas that has co-published 10 books and currently we are looking for more titles to publish in Barnes & Noble and Sears. We are looking for authors that have work that they are wanting to publish in a matter of weeks. We are open to all genres of work as well as length. We do NOT charge to review your work or decide if we would publish it. But, we do charge a small monthly fee of $40 per month after the book is in retailers. If you’re interested and would like to learn more or visits us at our office, send us an email and we can talk more and set up a visit. Thank you

Aside from the $40/month fee, I’m not entirely certain how they select titles to publish. No charge to review is always a good sign, but why are they in such a hurry to publish? Every publisher I work with has several months between when I submit a final draft to when they actually publish. It’s odd. And it’s a little confusing when they say they don’t decide if they would publish it. I suspect that’s a wording issue.

On second thought, this may not be a scam. But unless you know you are going to have high-volume sales (which is virtually impossible) and have no means of getting your book on shelves at Barnes and Noble or Sears (B&N actually has a way you can get your book on their shelves if you’re an indie publisher). This publisher needs to provide a lot more detail to show how it would be worth your while to pay them $40 a month. Starting with how they are going to make you at least $120 a month.

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Witchboard Blu-ray Review

Originally posted on Rare Horror:

“Speak of the devil.”

“Don’t.  I’ve had enough religious discussions for one night.”

witchboard_sickassposter

Witchboard – one half of Scream Factory’s February 4th Kevin S. Tenney assault (the other half being Night of the Demons) –  is one hell of a good time.  A story of a Ouija board triggered haunting, possession, murder, and tragic love-lost between two bros, the film arrives with a nice transfer on a stacked Blu-ray.  Two audio commentaries (Tenney, producer Gerald Geoffray, and executive producer Walten Josten on one, the cast on the other), and a great 45 minute making-of being the highlights.

witchboard1

Highly recommended for 80s horror fans.  Grab Night of the Demons while you’re at it.

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What do YOU Want?

What do YOU Want?.

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You’re Here Now, So What’s Next?

Whether you’ve found this site by chance, clicked on a link from Twitter or Facebook, or downloaded a free copy of 30 Minute Plan, you’ve made it. I’m guessing your likes are walks on the beach, people who like to smile, and horror. But wait, before you just go why not take a look at what else I have?

Like the equally free The Beggar’s Bowl? I know, I know, that cover is awful. I’ll probably do another when I get time, but there’s a lot more to be read! Like Fleshbags or Where the Monsters Are, my Halloween book of shorts The Best Night of the YearThere’s just so many to choose from and considering most are only $0.99 you don’t have to pick just one.

Check out my booklist.

Or my UK booklist.

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Addiction #poem #poet #amreading

I sniff, then spit,

You don’t know how many

Sheets of paper it took

To straighten these here lines

 

I wish I could say

They been cut by Chilean

Poets, but I had to

Steel it under my own name

 

Coking vowels and consonants

After I piled out a

Powder of letters

Then stamped, barefoot, on

 

Each and every word

And razor bladed

Divides between stanzas

But I confess,

 

I took a little for myself,

Unraveled on,

Rolled up George Washington,

Whispered it out loud

 

And blew my own mind,

Leaving you short

By one hit.

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The Beggar’s Bowl #kindle #free #amreading

Hey, to anyone who hasn’t read it already, I actually have a 2nd free eBook on Amazon. It’s called The Beggar’s Bowl. I actually had the idea in mind for years and finally sat down to write it about 3 years ago. The cover is my own design: I may revamp it in the new year in time with a new release of something. But here’s the link: http://amzn.to/XXvcfL

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